I never in a million years thought it would be as hard as this though! You learn who your friends are (I really have) and it really tests your relationship with your husband but this little fella is worth it! Whether Layton was planned or not, he’s brought so much joy to my life – I love him like I’ve never loved anything or anyone before!
In terms of friendships I’ve really learnt who’s really there for you and who just loved the idea of Layton…but as soon as he arrived, the novelty wore off. He’s not a novelty…he’s a part of ME…to take me, you take Layton as he’s my number 1. I’ve also seen who’s stepped up to the mark…the friends who have been there when I’m struggling…the friends who help me with Layton when I’m close to having a breakdown because believe me…a reflux baby is hard work! I’ve seen how selfish people can really be…and being a mum, you just dont have time for it so I’ve really learnt to take a step back and only make an effort with those who actually deserve it…the ones who deserve to have my little boy in their life…
Two girls whi have totally been amazing are Lisa Riddle – my best friend and Claire Maddison – a fellow mummy friend who has actually been through reflux with her little girl! These two girls have looked after Layton when I’ve needed a little bit of sleep or just some me time! They’ve text me when I’ve been in need struggling with Layton in Tree Tops! They’ve been there every day and I really can’t thank them enough!
In terms of my relationship…before Layton I can honestly say me and my husband never really argued – well…nothing like we do since we’ve had Layton BUT it’s what makes a relationship stronger! For anyone who really believes having a baby saves a relationship – it’s totally wrong! Our relationship doesn’t need saving – it’s great but having a baby definitely pushes you to the limits! Sleep deprivation is a killer and when you’re exhausted you say things you don’t really mean…I’ve told liam I hated him (which I don’t – well most of the time haha) and other things which I shouldn’t repeat haha but babies test relationships…sorry but they do! When I see him getting more sleep than me I have this jealous rage haha – it’s worse than if he were to have an affair (which he wouldn’t)! You learn to forgive and forget more then ever but you also learn to put someone else before each other!
BUT…as I’ve said…Layton is my PRIDE and JOY. He’s my number 1 and I wouldn’t change a thing (apart from get rid of his reflux). To see him develop every day – seeing him look up at me when I’m feeding him…seeing him snuggle into my neck…seeing him sleeping peacefully…even seeing him screaming through a tantrum (he has a lot for a 12 week old baby)…it’s worth it and I’m proud to call myself a good mum ❤️