I hope everyone had a lovely Easter Bank Holiday! Mine was a mix of good and bad! This weekend was so much fun but my insecurities totally hit me with my body BUT it’s made me even more determined to shift this baby weight and get back to how I was…if not in even better shape!
So on Good Friday my husband’s mum had Layton for the afternoon and overnight so me and Liam could enjoy my Mother’s Day present which was a Twilight Spa with a 2 course meal and a back massage at The Ramside Hall Hotel and Spa in Durham. This was such a lush present and I am totally thankful for it – especially as it wasn’t cheap at all (£250 for the both of us) but this visit started my insecurities right off! I opted for a one-piece bikini rather than a proper bikini because I wanted to hide my tummy as much as I could as I didn’t want my legs, thighs and tummy on display at the same time! It was a one-piece I wore for Ocean Beach in Ibiza last year (when Layton was actually conceived) and I can openly say it didn’t fit well and I didn’t look the same as I did then! BUT I thought what the hell – I had a baby 5 weeks ago – it’s lucky to be in a bikini anyway! When I got into the spa area, I saw 2 girls with their partners – one was wearing a red one-piece and another was wearing a red bikini and they were both tanned, super slim with lovely long brown hair…this made me not want to take my robe off! It didn’t help that the pool area was really busy – it was only 5.30pm but this made me feel totally insecure but it also didn’t feel as ‘special’. I wasn’t expecting it to be empty but it was really really busy and there was a lot of children there which made it quite noisy until it quieted down around 7pm.
I was so self conscious I was scared to take my robe off and made Liam walk right behind me so no one could see my stretch marks and cellulite! I literally ran into the pool – literally, so no-one could see me! I even ordered a couple of glasses of white wine so I would loosen up!
Other than that, we had a back massage in the same room and it was amazing! The girl who did it was so friendly and made me feel at ease! We then went back to the pool for a bit and went in the hot tub and sauna before heading to Fusion Reataurant for our 2 course meal which was lush!
I would definitely go back but I think I’ll wait till I’m in a bit better shape as the insecurities did ruin it slightly 😔
On the Saturday I went to the Metro Centre with one of my besties Chloe to get my nails done and then mine and Liam’s best friend Ricky from Bradford/Leeds came up to see us and our baby boy Layton – this was the first time he’s seen Layton and it was lovely! He totally bonded with him and it was lovely to spend some time with him! We miss you Ricky 😘
I got ready at Chloe’s house and tried on a few outfits. One outfit made me feel absolutely horrendous – it was a gold mesh skirt (quite see-through) and a nude body top and I looked VILE! I was embarrassed to try it on in front of the girls – I’m used to being in good shape from eating and training well but I was totally uncomfortable so I settled with this outfit:
Now I know I look slim in this pic…but the frill on the skirt hides my tummy and this picture is filtered – very filtered! I didn’t save the original pic as I would have posted it as this is an honest blog…
The night ended early unfortunately due but I wasn’t feeling it anyway and it was a little awkward so by 11pm I was tucked up in bed with a glass of red wine and a bolognese pizza! I really missed my husband and Layton though – it was a waste of a night out as my husband stayed at his nanas with Layton for some help so I ended up being home alone sober but it wasn’t the end of the world! I’m looking forward to my birthday night out end of May though!
On the Monday I was so happy to see Liam and Layton – we went to the Metro Centre for a bit and then went to see some friends near Whitley Bay! All in all it was a lovely weekend! ☺️